Every writer needs an editor and a photographer a filter... hitting home for a minute

I am an individual with a creative streak that is a mile wide. I love to write, I love to photograph, I love to draw, I love to sing, and I love to decorate.

Sounds great, right? 

It is, except for with so many variations of creativity it can be quite distracting. The different pulls on my creativity can be so distracting that I may not put forth my best on any one area. That is when there is a problem.

I have become tied up in the berating myself here lately. See, I know I can do better when the conditions are right. The problem being that the conditions are not perfect and my full expectations are not met. I am distracted.

I have learned over the years how to control my quirks so that hardly anybody will notice them. Unfortunately, here lately I have been overwhelmed. The manifestation on my mind causes me to not be able to focus.

This lack of focus can be rather interesting. For the typical person, if they are unable to focus, they may forget their keys or a grocery list. For me, it is much different. When I lose my focus, I start with forgetting where I have placed things but then it gets worse. I get grouchy and moody, depending on what the causes of my lack of focus are. Then, when I know I have to step back and take some time off, I lose my filter. Not everybody understands that term. What is a filter?

In this instance, a filter is a gatekeeper or a channel that keeps the thinking before speaking in check. When the filter shuts down, I speak before I think but I also lose the ability to see where what I say can be received harshly. The basic social aspect of communication goes out the window.

Another side effect of my lack of focus is I become oddly sensitive. Say I was to say something that was harsh and the person I said it to complained about it to somebody else. This situation would wound me. The reason? Because when I am overwhelmed, I only allow certain people around me for more than pleasantries. This is because I expect those I allow in to understand me.

Man, I realize this looks like a rather selfish post. Sorry about that. I just feel the need to explain things. In order to do so, I have to talk about me. Anyhow, about writing and photography.

With my writing... my inner editor continually second-guesses what I write and I have been unable to complete a manuscript in two years. That takes a toll. Sure, I was making excuses, like having academic papers and research papers to write while working on various projects with church and school. (I am not saying these projects were not worth doing, they just took away from my desires.) I need to be able to focus. There is a story that has been evolving in my head for years and I need to get it written.

With my photography... I am eagerly waiting for the person that I can collaborate with and we can have an amazing photo shoot. Although I look forward to working with everybody. I feel the work I have done is lacking mostly because I am facing challenges that I knew would be there if I were to pursue photography as a career. I have been burned in a couple instances and regret the way things turned out. I am still taking pictures and want to enjoy working with individuals that want their portraits taken. I know I have the skill and ability; I need to work on my marketing.

Life in general. I have forgotten that I do not have to do it all. I also forgot whom I need to please and what it is that I am suppose to be doing. 

I am primarily a writer. I need a part time job with deadlines. I am pursuing my Masters and will be working (still waiting on confirmation) at the school this fall. I would love to have photo-sessions once or twice a month to boost an income. 

Have you ever gotten lost in the chaos around you? That is where I have been. We have had crazy personal stuff go on and instead of looking to the almighty Father; I have tried to fix it myself. This of course leads to being overwhelmed and stressed. (Which I am prone to anyway.) This however is not what God wants for us. 

God wants us to be happy. He wants us to have His strength. All we have to do is call out to Him.

Blessed be the Lord, Because He has heard the voice of my supplications!

The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him. - Psalm 28:6-7 (NKJV)

Writing is such sweet sorrow

There are only so many hours in a day and so many of those are taken up with eating and sleeping. When the mood strikes, um excuse me... the muse strikes, you must write. For the first time in three years, it appears my muse and NaNoWriMo have struck at the same time.

I might be a little crazy for tackling a writing challenge this big right now. I am currently in my last semester of my bachelor's degree. I have several projects due at the end of November that are very involved. Yet, when you have to write there is no stopping the urge to write.

Anyhow, I will tackle the 50,000 words in 30 days goal and hopefully succeed this year. I have my outline
ready to go and even created a book cover. Possibly a little 'cart before the horse' mentality there but it is motivation.

In addition, I have 30 themed prompts that co-relate to my story in case I get stuck. In writing out my outline I have prompted each chapter so that if I get stuck on one, I can move to another. Obviously i plan on editing after the month is over. That is key, edit AFTER the month is over.

Are you participating in NaNoWriMo? Do you know what NaNo is?

You can learn more about NaNoWriMo here.

A Fresh Start

The new year has begun and reflections on the last year have challenged me. Things have not gone as well as I have hoped for them to go, yet they have gone better than I expected in some areas.

Lazy Neko-chan

This year will be my last in college if all goes well in pursuit of the bachelor's degree. I have had doubts about my degree as of late concerning a job and have decided that I need to focus on building my portfolio. Graduation should be the middle of December. This is significant for me as the number three appears to have a role in dates and graduating in 2013 aligns with that.

I am determined that while completing my degree and building the portfolio that I will keep my chin lifted high. I will not let low self esteem keep me down, and I will make networking connections. (yep, talking about you!) I will make and reconnect online and in person. And unlike Neko-chan, I will not be lying around.

My biggest goal? That would be to get the first book I wrote edited and reviewed by trusted peers this summer. I am tired of waiting for the 'right' time.

Inspiration

The spirit of a writer never dies; the desire is always there it just needs to be fed. If the spirit is not being fed, it is unable to work. For a writer inspiration comes in many forms, while for some it may take reading, for others it can be people watching, and for others it may be communing with nature. Find the inspiration, feed the writer spirit, avoid the negative critics, and write.

When It All Gets Crazy

In the life of a college student, November can get quite nerve racking. Typically this is the time in the semester when deadlines for all the projects are approaching and midterm grades are being released. It can get rather overwhelming.

For myself it is not just about being a college student. I have a family, plus I am also involved in my church. So while it does get crazy and insane and very overwhelming, I love it.

Currently I am planning three essays for Expository Writing, a video script, a mini eBook and a Portfolio for Technical Report Writing and doing classwork for Astronomy with my college studies. At church, I have found myself involved with two friends coordinating a business expo for November 17th. Then of course family wise there is never a dull moment.

The gist of this post though is not to go on and on about how I have so much to do. The point is that with a well thought out plan it can all be done and still have time to sleep, provided you have not drank too much coffee.

The first thing I did was print out a schedule of due dates. That was scary in itself seeing in my face that a few things were due on the same day, but I would rather know that today instead of a week from now when they are expected to be turned in. The next thing I did was let my spouse know that this month was going to be crazy and I was going to need a LOT of homework time. In addition to homework time I am going to need some help with the expo too. So let's see... 1. Written Schedule.  2. ASK for HELP.

That leaves the 3.Implementation. Getting to everything and doing it. You know how long you need to put your best foot forward. Yes, life gets crazy but what matters is how you respond.